Cash for a Better Life

Did my subject draw you into this post? I'm hoping it did, but it might have given you the wrong idea - purposefully I admit. :)

Many of you have read previous posts of mine about how I help with The Ugly Christmas Sweater Party that benefits Operation Breakthrough. In this post, I simply want to tell you about that organization and how even a $10 donation can help them.

Put most simply and in their own words:

The mission of Operation Breakthrough is to help children who are living in poverty develop to their fullest potential by providing them a safe, loving and educational environment.

Operation Breakthrough cares each weekday for more than 600 children, ages 6 weeks to 18 years. More than 98% of the enrolled families live below the federal poverty guidelines, most far below them.

About 25% of the children are homeless or near homeless, living in battered women's or homeless shelters or transitional living programs. Often they sleep on the sofas of friends or relatives, sometimes even living in cars, rundown hotels or abandoned buildings. About 25% of our children are in foster care or other placements due to abuse, neglect or other family crises. The average income of our families is $9,400.

You can read more on their website. It truly is a wonderful KANSAS CITY organization that helps KANSAS CITY children who are dealing with a situation that is NOT their fault.

Our Gifts Make a Difference! $10 will buy a book for their library. $20 will buy new shoes for a child. $50 will buy groceries for a family of 4. $85 will cover a complete physical for an uninsured child. $100 will buy a pair of eyeglasses. $150 will cover care for an infant for a week. $500 will cover a field trip for 50 children to a museum or theater performance. $1,000 will cover 80 hours of individual therapy for a child suffering from abuse or neglect.

Personally, my "Skipping Starbucks" savings will be going to Operation Breakthrough again this year. My donation will probably be around $100. That simple donation could provide a child with the eyeglasses needed to do better in school. Or it could give 5 children new shoes for winter when they may otherwise not have correct apparel.

YOU, too, can skip eating out a few times this month or skip the expensive coffee or just skip a date night. Will spending money on any of those items make as big an impact in your life as these items will make in theirs?

If ten of us could each give $100 that combined donation could provide a child with the therapy needed to overcome a tragic event in their life. The thought that we could help a child so profoundly with such a simple gift truly moves me to tears and I hope it affects you too.

Please consider making a donation to them this season or at any time during the year. It does a heart good! :)

Conversations with Kids

RETIREMENT PLAN FROM THOMAS
A recent car conversation went like this...

• Travis: Do artists make a lot of money?
• Mom: Sometimes. Depends on what they paint or make.
• Thomas: Really? That could be good. I like art.
• Mom: It's a lot of work. And sometimes you don't become famous and people don't buy the art until after you die.
• (long pause where you could hear the wheels turning in their heads)
• Thomas: ok, I have it. I'll do a regular job and then when I'm 99 I'll become an artist really fast, get famous cuz I'll die soon and then my grandkids will have lots of money! Everyone should do this!

---

ACRONYMS WITH TRAVIS
Travis wanted to figure out the meanings to some acronyms that he's heard recently. Here's some of the best 8-year-old answers he gave before we told him the real meanings:

• SWAT = Sweet Weapons and Tactics (he knows it's Special, but he prefers Sweet)
• CSI = Criminal Science Animals (yeah, he can't spell very well yet...)
• NCIS = National Crime In Science
• CIA = Crimes In America
• NASA = No Air in Space Association
• USPS = Daddy's Work!
• KSU = K-State University (but he couldn't tell us what the K was for...)

Once we explained the K in KSU was for Kansas, we of course asked, "If K is for Kansas, what is KU for?" And this garnered our absolute favorite answer...

KU is for Suckers!

I kid you not, no prep or coercion. He just KNOWS! :)

Skipping Starbucks Challenge 2010

I hereby offer up the Skipping Starbucks challenge again (read this: 2008 Skipping Starbucks post). I think Skipping Starbucks and donating the cash will do more good than drinking there this month.

You say, "I don't drink Starbucks or any coffee!"? You can still participate! Pick ANY where you go regularly (at least 1x per week) and skip it this month. Then, select a charity and donate what you would have spent there.

Two years ago, my coffee consumption made for a $50 donation to Operation Breakthrough. That's approximately 10 times I skipped the expensive coffee and gave to someone less fortunate than myself.

Can you do the same this year? Consider the gauntlet thrown at your feet...

My Fascinate Score

I read a coworker's blog post with her Fascinate results and wondered what mine would be - now sharing them for the world. Nothing new here for me or those who really know me, but still interesting to see it in print. Only part that doesn't really ring true to me / about me is highlighted below (under Trust).

MEET YOUR TRIGGERS
Your primary fascination is LUST. (Nicely done, you.) Even without realizing it, you’re already instinctively applying this trigger when trying to persuade others. Your secondary trigger is POWER, and your dormant trigger (the one you’re least likely to apply in your personality and behavior) is TRUST.

PRIMARY TRIGGER: LUST
So lust is your primary trigger. [um, DUH] That means you draw people closer with a warm and open style of interaction. You’re expressive with ideas, communicate well in person, and probably have a strong creative streak. Even when you mask your emotions, you feel passionately about your opinions.

You’re intuitive with information, often making decisions based on gut instinct rather than cold intellect. While other personality types prefer facts, you’re more attuned to the nuances of attitude, design, and a certain indefinable je ne sais quoi.

Lust is a powerful form of influence because it creates irresistible messages that overcome rational resistance. When you dial up your primary trigger, you have the ability to create messages that are extremely difficult to ignore.

You’re remarkably talented in creating messages that lead to a powerful intellectual, physical, and emotional response. For instance, you like to share experiences with others, and in conversation, you draw people closer with body language and eye contact.

By applying these natural strengths to your work, you can build warmer relationships and more trusting dialogue. And by applying to your ideas, you can create messages make people say, “I want that now!

SECONDARY TRIGGER: POWER
While you’re not a power-monger, you are power-comfortable: an authority who likes to be in control.

Blindly following someone else’s orders? No, thanks. You prefer to actively lead situations, rather than sitting back and passively watching from the back row. You’ll follow other people’s rules, if needed, but you prefer to define a new set of rules on your own terms. You exude influence, compelling others to pay attention. Your strong opinions and bold action often spark reactions from others.

Your messages command influence, and your opinion carries weight. When you excel in positions of leadership, others look to you for cues of how to behave. At times, perhaps, you might come across as intimidating or even overbearing. When you expect others to obey your message, you define deadlines and demands of the alarm trigger to make them comply. By steering your use of power productively toward your goals, you’ll become more motivating and inspirational.

You’re a natural leader, and probably comfortable with authority. Next step? Hone your power trigger for greater respect, bigger audiences, and more loyal advocates.

DORMANT TRIGGER: TRUST
One thing’s for sure: You’re definitely not boring.

People who score low on trust tend to be thrilling, passionate, and intuitive. They live in the moment, and rarely plan very far in advance. [I really DO plan EVERYTHING as far in advance as humanly possible. Living in the moment doesn't really appeal to me much since my kids were born - it's just too hard with three kids!] As a result, they can be unpredictable, impulsive, and volatile.

Of the 7 triggers, trust is the most difficult to earn, the easiest to lose, and the most valuable to hold.

Perhaps you don’t need to sway opinion through consistency. Many people and brands, especially those unconventional few who delight in immediate gratification and avant-garde style, don’t rely on trust. However, this trigger comes with many rewards, so take a look at ways to increase trust in your message, without losing the excitement and edge of your other triggers.

OTHER TRIGGERS NOT IN MY LIST:

• Prestige
• Mystique
• Alarm
• Vice

TAKE THE TEST TODAY AND SEE WHAT YOUR TRIGGERS ARE. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SCORES!

A Month of Thankfulness

For the month of November I'll be updating this post with a daily update of people, places or items for which I am thankful. I also have calendars printed for the boys to write out their thankful list throughout the month. So - what are you thankful for today? :)

1. My family. Specifically my husband who loves me despite all my faults, my two funny smart and sweet little boys and my beautiful sensitive step-daughter. I love you all!
    
2. Karate classes. It's great workout, good quality time with my boys and I'm actually learning something new, which is pretty rare these days.
    
3. Thanksgiving. Particularly, I am thankful for people, especially radio stations, who remember that Thanksgiving IS a holiday; it's actually my favorite one! No Christmas until AFTER November 25 please! :)
    
4. My Crazy Brain. No really, I'm happy I'm a little off-kilter. Because otherwise, there's no way I could be me or do all that I do if I wasn't just a little nuts.
    
5. Pro-bono Accounts. My job allows me to help such wonderful and worthy causes such as Back in the Swing, Treads & Threads, Jazzoo at the Kansas City Zoo, Red Ball for The American Red Cross in KC, HillOween, and The Ugly Christmas Sweater Party. Being the website project lead for these events is very soul-satisfying!
    
6. Football. I love football! I love how American it is. I love the autumn-ness of it. I love that my whole family plays fantasy football together. I love how my husband coaches - hard but fair. I love how my boys play it - with no butts but lots of heart. Plus, when it's on TV, it's a great time time to take a nap if I don't really care about who's playing.
    
7. Daylight Savings. I know most people dislike this, but I love it. Especially in the fall. I went to bed at 10:45 only to realize with the time change it was really only 9:45. And I slept until 8 am. And when I drive to work or drive home, the sun's not in my eeys as much. Let's just not talk about the spring side of this amazing deal...
    
8. Morning-able Children. My kids get up, get their own breakfast, brush their teeth, get dressed, feed the pets and even make their own lunches - at only 8 yrs old! They do all that with minimal reminders (or yelling) from me, most days. This allows me to get up later and get ready for work a lot easier. Now, on to teaching them how to cook, do laundry and drive the car...

Thank you Disney!

WARNING: Mommy Rant...(and maybe some movie spoilers if you've lived in a cave all your life)

I'm annoyed by an article a friend of mine shared (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1308584/Why-does-Disney-hate-parents-Ever-noticed-favourite-films-kill-Mum-Dad-.html) and I have to write it out.

In this article, the author essentially talks about how Disney hates parents and always kills them off. The author doesn't seem to consider that maybe, just maybe, one of the most traumatic things a child could endure is the loss of a parent and overcoming that loss is an wonderful achievement in a child's life and a testimony to the love of others in the face of grief. In the movies she references, none of the characters succumbs to despair and depression, but rather learns to live a positive life in the face of such tragedy. I think this is a rather good thing to teach children before they might have to experience it themselves.

The movies she mentions may have only one or even no "biological" parents, but does that mean the child was left alone to learn their way in the world with no love and guidance? NO! In every Disney movie, she mentions there is a true caregiver of some sort. For instance:

---------------
Toy Story - Andy definitely has a mom, a sister and of course the wonderful toys. There's an assumption that she's a single parent, but no proof of that (you just might never see dad). And poor Andy is so hurt by having only one parent that instead of simply throwing his very old very childish toys in the trash he lovingly saves them over the years and eventually makes sure they find a home where THEY will be loved and cherished. Oh...wait...
---------------
Bambi - yes he tragically lost his mommy by the mean old hunter and I don't think we ever know what happened to dad (been awhile since I saw this one). But he had Thumper and Flower to befriend and show him the world.
---------------
The Lion King - yes, we all know that dad dies tragically but he is still THERE for the little cub up in the stars. And of course mom is there; it's the kid that runs away. But honestly, who wouldn't want to be raised by Timon & Pumba? Hakuna Matata might not the best way to deal with all things in life, but we could all use a little more of that. Eventually Simba learns to be a man, face his mistakes (which weren't even his!) and returns to lead his pride with...pride.
---------------
Peter Pan - Peter RAN AWAY as a baby because he didn't want to grow up. Wendy's parents were both there technically. But, through each other they learned that growing up may not be a horrible thing and that grown ups could be trusted.
---------------
Finding Nemo - Marlin might have been a little neurotic, but whose parents aren't some times? Plus, when placed in the tank, the other fish looked out for him (mostly). And of course Marlin never gives up looking for little Nemo, he just keeps swimming, just keeps swimming, swimming swimming swimming....
---------------
Dumbo - this poor elephant probably had it the worst of any Disney character. He definitely had the most confusing life but he never gives up, has a great mouse friend (talk about learning acceptance!) and eventually reuintes with his wonderful mommy. Oh, and he gets to see pink elephants on parade(this part might not be the most kid friendly but it does open the doors for conversations on drinking...)
---------------
Tarzan - orphaned when his parents are killed by a wild animal, he's raised by a shrewdness of apes. Animals that should have killed him choose to raise him and raise him right - into a strong caring leader. Then of course he also has Jane, who teaches him to read and write and even walk upright. She helps him become a man.
---------------

The author takes an extremely cynical view on why Disney creates so many movies without parents:

"Might the company - and its output - be a true reflection of our disparate society and the obvious disintegration of the traditional nuclear family? Or might it be the other way around? Might Disney have played its own part in the demise of family values given that we - and our children - have fallen for this wholesome entertainment for decades? If nothing else, Disney stands accused of failing to honour that most sacred of bonds - that of the mother and the father to their children."

Personally, I don't think family always means two biological parents and 2.5 kids. Lives can end tragically, without or without choices. "Family" can be grandparents, aunts and  uncles, friends and neighbors, church members and sometimes even church mice, sweet dogs and fluffy kitties. Values don't come from having two parents in the house - they could just as easily be alcoholic druggie sadists! Family values come from love and wanting to do the right thing and from people teaching respect, sense of self, honor, trust, and other positive character traits to the next generation.

This isn't something we've been taught to do by movies or have adopted as "ok" by being brain-washed by movies. Personally, my grandparents were huge in my upbringing and are two of the most loving and wonderful people I've ever known. Specifcally, I lived with them for two years as my mom thought it was safer to be with them than to go to a high school where my step-dad was stationed. She was probably right and I'm glad she made that choice for me.

I was also influenced by individuals in my churches and the parents of my friends as well as my teachers and coaches. I know people who were raised by single parents, siblings, grandparents, and even adoptive and foster parents and they have all turned out to be wonderful, bright, healthy individuals.

While I wouldn't mind seeing a few more movies where it's a little more like Pleasantville, I think we can learn a lot from Disney movies - how to respect our selves, our elders, the planet and its animals; love is loyalty, caring, respect and trust; tragedy happens and we can overcome with love and strong sense of self; and cynicism gets you nothing but sadness and loneliness. The "most sacred of bonds" doesn't come from blood, it comes from love.

To that end, I suggest that author review her own cynical view before she gives that "value" to her own children. Then, maybe she can enjoy Disney movies for what they should be - family entertainment with many good values.

Moments for Myself: 09 August

The human heart has
     hidden treasure
In secret kept,
     in silence sealed;
The thoughts, the hopes
     the dreams, the pleasure,
Whose charms were
     broken if revealed.

- Charlotte Brontë

Moments for Myself: 06 August

"Life is not intended to be simply a round of work, no matter how interesting and important that work may be. A moment's pause to watch the glory of a sunrise or a sunset is soul satisfying, while a bird's song will set the steps to music all day long."

- Laura Ingalls Wilder (from Moments for Myself Daily Inspiration Calendar)

Remembering Fallen Heroes on Memorial Day

It is the VETERAN, not the preacher,
who has given us freedom of religion.

It is the VETERAN, not the reporter,
who has given us freedom of the press.

It is the VETERAN, not the poet,
who has given us freedom of speech.

It is the VETERAN, not the campus organizer,
who has given us freedom to assemble.

It is the VETERAN, not the lawyer,
who has given us the right to a fair trial.

It is the VETERAN, not the politician,
who has given us the right to vote.

It is the VETERAN who salutes the Flag,

and it is the VETERAN who serves under the Flag.

Thank you to all the men and women who have served in the US Military, who have given their lives to secure our freedoms.

May God bless you and your families for your sacrifice.

Business Apology with a Kick

Our Pediatric Dentist is dedicated to making going to the dentist an extremely positive experience for kids: they have TVs over the patient "beds" where they play kids movies, video games galore around the office, a huge tropical fish tank, and they give ice cream after the cleaning along with balloons, goodie bags of dental supplies geared towards kids and tokens for the trinket machines. It's truly a wonderful experience for them all the way around. Usually...

Last Friday we had an unusually bad experience. Both boys had appointments at 3:30 and we arrived on time. We got called back around 3:45 pm and the X-rays and cleaning went really fast with the hygenist being very patient with two hyperactive 8 year old boys (it WAS a Friday afternoon after all). But, then we had to wait for the dentist. And wait we did. She finally came in close to 4:20 and while she was looking at Travis I ran Tom down to the bathroom - literally less than 5 minutes.

When we got back, she was gone and we were told she'd be right back. so we waited again. Close to 5pm she came back with sincere apologies that she really had meant to only go check one patient and come right back but then she had gotten sucked back into her normal rounds around the office.

I could understand that and I could see they were very busy and honestly it was probably easier for her to finish up with a whole bunch of patients and just make one family unhappy than to come back to us and potentially make lots of families unhappy. She gave the boys extra tokens for the trinket machine for being so good while waiting and although I was a little frustrated by the lateness as I had other errands to run I generally put it out of my mind. It was basically another day at a doctor/dentist office.

That is, I forgot about it until yesterday when I received a letter from the dentist that felt heavy, like there was a card in it. I thought maybe they had started some new weird program or were sending a new magent and almost tossed it. But, I opened it and read a very nice apology letter that basically stated they werre sorry for us "waiting beyond what is considered a reasonable length of time" and then it went on to say "Please accept the enclosed gift and our appreciation for the relationship we are so grateful to have with you."

Inside the note was a smaller envelope with a gift card to Starbucks! I thought, "that's pretty nice and totally unexpected". They hadn't written the amount on it, so I logged in to Starbucks figuring it'd be $5 or maybe $10. It's a $25 gift card! How wonderful an apology is THAT?

Honestly I would have been fine with just the note to me - just an acknowledgement that something went wrong - since she'd already made it up to the boys with the extra "toys". But, for them to go the extra mile and send something to me that I will definitely use and will make me remember them in a positive way - that's the way to do an apology!

I think more businesses can take a page out of their book on how to do business and how to make customer feel truly important to them. Thanks Jenkins & LeBlanc - we'll be back soon! :)

I Am a Christian

My friend Teri sent this to me today and I felt the need to share it.

============================

When I say that 'I am a Christian', I am not shouting that 'I am clean living.'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, but now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner who received and accepted God's loving grace and mercy!

Words for Women to Live By

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the b*tch has everything.
2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.
3. Take life with a pinch of salt...and a wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.
4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!
5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).
6. When life gets you down just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.
8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.
9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.
11. When life gives you lemons, turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.
12. Remember whereever there is a good looking, sweet, wonderful man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!
13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.
14. If it has tires or testicles it's gonna give you trouble.
15. By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.

JOYFUL JOURNAL

1. Lunch with girlfriends
2. Noodles + Co.
3. Snickerdoodles
4. Root beer
5. Comfort food

Moments for Myself - 12 January

"We are like water pitchers that fill up on love every day. As the day progresses, we pour out a cup here, another cup there. If we aren't taking the time to go back to the well of love nad refill the pitcher, then we have nothing to offer all the empty cups put before us. In order to keep them full, we have to take the time to keep ourselves full."

- Moments for Myself, Daily Inspiration Calendar

JOYFUL JOURNAL

1. Moments for Myself Calendar
2. Perfect Teamaker
3. Karate class
4. Pictures of my kids
5. Accountability groups

Happy New Year - 2010b

Since our new year started off on such a crazy/bad foot with "the blizzard" and then Thomas' appendix situation, it just wasn't a great start. Therefore, I'm starting off the new year again - 2010b as my old high school mate Julie coined it. Both boys are back in school today and life seems to be back on the normal track, so TODAY is officially the "Happy New Year" I was expecting 10 days ago! :)

JOYFUL JOURNAL

1. End of snow days
2. Good books with no defining purpose other than to entertain
3. FB updates that are more social commentary than personal statuses
4. Hulu.com (have I used that before - I really do like this site)
5. Regular TV episodes returning this month

2010: JOY

This year, I'm focusing on the word "JOY". The little things in life that bring a bit of joy each and every day to the bigger things that add up to a lifetime of joy.

To that end, I'm following my friend Amanda's lead and starting a daily listing of items that make my joyful. Hers is called the "attitude of gratitude" and mine will be simply the "Joyful Journal". 

Each day there'll either be a specific area where I list the 5 joy items or that might be all my posting consists of on some days (when it's busy). So, by the end of the year I'll have a good "Joyful Journal" to reflect back on in the future.

Enjoy! (and someone please hold me accountable if I go too long without adding anything!)

JOYFUL JOURNAL

1. Morning Coffee
2. My sons' laughter in the morning
3. Unexpected email messages
4. Hulu.com
5. Friends with more warped senses of humor than me