Divine Guidance

OK - so the boys and I did the whole KidStuf and church thing on Sunday. And Lord - I need my day back for myself!

I'm not saying my boys were rude or loud or anything. They were just being 5-yr old boys - bored to death when a grown-up talks for more than 2 seconds.

And trying to get them to their own classroom during church - forget it. Although, they had a very sweet reason to sit through adult church instead of children's class - they wanted to stay with mom. "We don't get to spend enough time with you."

Crud.

So - what's a mom to do? This was my recharge time - so I could spend time with them throughout the week without biting their heads off. Here we are on Tuesday and I can't tell you how many times I blew up at them since Sunday. And I know it's because I didn't have my downtime - my personal God time.

So - what's a mom to do? Leave her kids at home where they get further from a God-relationship or take them with her and let it effect our relationship because I'm stressed? Neither is good. So, prayer. That should help. Here's mine for this week - almost like a mantra, to be said over and over and over again!

Lord,

Please give me the guidance to know what's YOUR will for us all. Please help me to stay calm and peaceful with them in all things, with or without my own "downtime". Guide me in all things to do what's best for your kids. Encourage their budding questions. Help me remember that they are YOURS and to do my best to return them to you healthy, happy and biblically-wise.

Amen.

"And you're their MOM"

I can't remember how long ago this particular incident occurred, but I still can't believe I said or did these things. Not that they're bad, but because now when I think about it, I picture all the things that could have gone wrong or escalated from this situation. So, maybe if it write about it, it will bug me less...

A friend and I went to watch the last Harry Potter movie together right after it came out. We both have tween-aged kids, but we normally saw these alone and thought it would be a good get-together. Afterward, I drove her to her car, but we were playing catchup so we parked and kept talking for awhile. After about 10 minutes, we noticed the car across from us - it was rocking. Inside were two kids, probably 8 and 3 or 4 at the most. This was in the parking lot of Town Center Plaza, which is a pretty high-dollar shopping center in Overland Park.

We kept talking, but both of us kept watching the car. After another 20 minutes, we realized they'd been left alone in that car for almost 30 minutes - that we knew of! We don't know how long they were there by themselves, but to both of us this was too long for kids this young to be alone in a car in a parking lot. It wasn't overly hot or cold that day, but they were unsupervised and it was starting to get dark.

About this time, the girl started forcing the little boy into his car seat, yelling and crying because he wouldn't listen to her. And of course, he was crying as well. We decided enough was enough, but weren't sure what to do. So, we did what we both normally do when we're uncertain in a situation - we called our husbands.

Both men said the same thing - call the cops. We were still hesitant to do so, but the entire situation still bugged us. Finally, we got out of our car and went over to theirs. We told the girl not to roll down the window or get out, just to let us know if they were OK. She said they were, but she had no idea where her mom was or how long she'd been gone (we knew by then it'd been close to 45 minutes minimum!) We kept telling her we didn't want her to get out or anything, and that we'd make sure she and her brother were OK.

I kept talking to the kids through the closed window while my friend dialed 911 and was about to hit send. At this point, mom walks up with two older girls and shopping bags, asking us what we're doing. Now, you may think maybe this was a "lower class" mom or someone who just may not have known better based on economical sitations. No - this was a well-dressed, middle class (probably upper middle class) mom and it was a high-dollar car/SUV they were in. So - there shouldn't really be any "excuses" here (not that there should be any anyway!) - I'm just clearing the boards.

Here's where the "scary" and "crazy" stuff comes into play for me:

I asked her where she had been and what she was thinking leaving her kids in the car. Before she could answer, I told her that her kids were crying and very upset. Here, she had the audacity to suggest that WE were the cause of her kids crying! That we had scared them coming over to the car and talking to them! I looked her straight in the eye and said calmly that that "They were crying and upset LONG before we came over here - that's WHY we came over here."

My friend was slowly backing up to our car, but I was MAD! Seriously - how dare she suggest I upset her kids? I was looking out for them! So, I asked her again what she was thinking leaving her kids in the car for that long. This is what she actually told me "They didn't want to go in shopping. They're kids..."

"AND YOU'RE THEIR MOM!" It took all my effort to say this forcefully but not with too much anger or malice. I continued with "They're just little kids - if you can't take them in shopping, then you don't go shopping! You don't leave kids this young in the car alone - ever! You're the mom - you have to make the bigger decisions." She was going to reply and I decided to end the conversation with my own last comment.

I told her "Just so you know, we were about to call 911. We had them in the phone and were about to hit send. Think about that next time. Next time, someone may not wait to call the cops - they'll do it as soon as they see your kids in the car. Or, next time, instead of a well-meaning adult, it could be a crazed lunatic after your kids because you - the MOM - didn't want to take them in shopping."

With that, I left her to calm down her kids (who probably WERE afraid of me now!) and to think about things. I don't know if what we did and said honestly had any effect on her. But, it did on me.

My friend says she couldn't believe I'd had the "balls" to say what I did to that woman. Anytime I think of leaving the boys in the car while I run in to get a gallon of milk I remember this day and take them with me. I might do it if Emily's in the car, but normally I don't even like to do that - she's old enough to watch them, but as a young woman she's also a different kind of target.

I know it's a hassle sometimes to pull two kids out of car seats, walk through a store to the dairy, grab the milk, check out and then get two kids back into car seats, but it's worth it. Even more of a hassle to drag two little boys through the mall or a big store to shop for myself or my daughter. But, if it keeps them from getting scared, keeps them safe from predators, and keeps the police or social services from being called, I'm all for the little-kids-shopping hassle! After all -

"I'M THEIR MOM!!!"

I'm rubbing off on my kids....

at least, according to my husband, they're taking after me. (YEA!!)

Thursday night, on his way to bed, Joe came back out to tell me that the boys are being affected by me. I said "What does that mean and is that good or bad?"

He said, "They're debating God."

"Oh, really? Then that's GOOD!"

Apparently, the boys had spent the 45-minutes since we'd put them to bed discussing four points:

1. Is God a boy or a girl?
   
2. Was Jesus a boy or a girl? (yes, they did ask these two in different tenses!)
   
3. Is God really bigger than everything?
   
4. If God's in charge, why does He have so many rules?

Impressed as I was by these questions, it was harder to come up with clear answers on a very abstract subject, especially at 9:30 at night with very sleepy kids. They wanted to sleep, but couldn't until they solved these riddles. So, here's what we decided:

1. For Tom, God is. Just "Is". He seemed to like that idea. That he could say God is pretty much anything and it would be right. He's definitely likes the "abstract" and really accepted the word "entity" - even if he doesn't entirely understand what that means and pronounces it "Anti D". This is proof he is MY child.
   
   For Travis, God had to be a boy or a girl. God "is" wasn't complete for him. So - God is a "big big big boy" for Travis. He's a big boy, daddy is a big big boy so God is a big big big boy. He needed something fully concrete - like his Gram and his daddy.
   
   
2. Jesus was a boy. That one was easy. He lived, therefore we KNOW he was a boy. End of story - happy kids.
   
   
3. Again, there was a split here. For Travis, it was a simple - YES. For Thomas, it was again more abstract. Since God "is" and therefore can be everything, He is both smaller and bigger than everything. But, since He can be everything and not anything at the same time, He was definitely "in charge" of everything. Travis agreed that since he was bigger than everything, he was "in charge". That led to question number 4.
   
   
4. I wasn't really sure about this one. I personally don't feel like God has that many rules. Society has many, churches have many, even my husband has a bunch (and these all overlap of course). But God? Well, as the girl-child pointed out to me today when I told her this story, God has 10 rules. Also known as commandments. Smart-Alec Catholic girl that she is. =)
   
   On Thursday night, however, I was hesitant to tell the BOYS that God only has 10 rules, as Mommy has a LOT more than that. So, we decided that God has lots of rules to keep us safe and happy. And one of those rules is that they have to go to sleep when mommy says. I can't believe it, but I actually said "God's telling me right now that it's time to go to sleep." - seriously - like I was having a conversation with the Almighty right then and there with them! Lord forgive me! But, they both said "OK mommy!" rolled over and went to sleep!

All in all, it was eye-opening and let me know NOW is the best time to be taking them to church regularly with me. Church to this point has been my "escape" from family insanity, whiny boys and a non-participating spouse. (Not that he doesn't believe, he just doesn't go to church with me). Emily goes with me when she's here more often than not, especially on days we both sing. But it was just too much "trouble" for me to take the boys. A headache, a fight, and less relaxing then when I go alone.

I think now God is telling me they need to come. "It's time!" is resounding in my head. Yes, it might be taxing on Sunday mornings and Yes I might not get my personal recharge from it but NO it's not about me. It's about introducing my kids to God and returning them from whence they came. God only gives us HIS children to watch and raise but in the end they belong to Him - and I better remember that!

Sorry God - we'll be there Sunday!

Talk is cheap, but actions reveal the truth.

I've heard parents say they are going to let their kids make up their own minds about matters of faith. Newsflash! Our children are going to make up their own minds no matter what we do.

Here's a reality check about matters of faith. We all form our own opinions and make up our own minds about it. My faith is not a clone of any of my parents' or grandparents' beliefs. As far as I know, in fact, I'm the first Harris from our family who is a preacher. But I grew up seeing that faith was important to my folks and that became the foundation of everything I am.

That's the way it works: children see what is important to their parents and emulate it. Notice I didn't say that children hear what their parents say is important, but I said children see what really is important to their parents. Talk is cheap, but actions reveal the truth. It's our actions that show who we really are and what we really believe.

Am I pushing my faith on my children? No, but they know exactly how important it is to me. Am I trying to push my faith on you by writing this column? No, you'll make up your own mind. I'm just trying to remind all of us that our children are watching. If your faith is important to you, don't be ashamed to show it to them. Believe me, they already know.

Written by Craig Harris (www.apparentlyso.net.)

Thief Returns To Apologize

This past Thanksgiving, Lisa and Chris Woodard got off to a rough start. As they were making preparations for their expected guests, Chris strolled into the garage to straighten up things when he noticed something had vanished — his Ducati motorcycle.

About 11 weeks later, the bike was returned through a series of events. In a surprising twist, the Woodards heard a knock on their door one evening after that. "It is someone who wants to apologize for what happened a few months ago," Lisa reported William as saying.

During their discussions Chris found out that William, an 18-year old who had stolen the bike to to pay off a business-related debt he owed from a car-detailing service, was on drugs that night when he stole the bike and has been battling drug addiction for a while.

"Chris was encouraging and counseling the kid," said Lisa. "We are Christians and Chris took it as a miraculous opportunity to share the gospel with this kid and also talk to him from personnel experience since my husband was once a hoodlum. By God's grace Chris turned his life around."

Larry the Cable Guy Shares Laughs

Larry The Cable Guy heard about Angel Wilson,who has severe Cerebal Palsey and brain damage from birth, and all the struggles she has gone through during her first 10 years of life and he wanted to do something nice for the Wilson family. Larry gave the Wilsons free tickets to his one man show and arranged to spend time alone with them before his show.

Angel loved his character Tow-Mater, from the animated movie Cars, and Larry broke into character. He talked like Tow-Mater and Angel laughed hard and seemed to really be enjoying herself. After Larry saw how hard Angel was laughing at what he had just done for her, a huge smile broke out on his face. The Wilsons said "there was nothing fake about Larry The Cable Guy. You could see the love in his eyes!"

Daily Puppy Fix

Need a little "puppy love" everyday - but don't have a puppy? Now you can have one on your blog, Google homepage, or just take a visit whenever you need a little puppy smily to light up your day.

Copy this link into your blog or Google homepage (and I'm sure other places as well!)
http://dailypuppy.com/gmod/thedailypuppy.xml

My Cat is a Stalker

We have a gray puffball also known as a cat - Puff. Also, Puff-Daddy, Puffy, FluffBall and now, to me at least, Stalker.

He's always been a clingy kitty, but lately he's just been downright scary. Wherever I go, there he is! He'll sit and stare at me for hours at a time. Not trying to be petted or cuddle, not purring or mewing - just sitting and staring. Even if I kick him out of the room, he'll sit in the doorway and stare. I've even caught him "peeking" around a corner to stare.

My husband thinks I'm nuts of course, as do the kids. But, it's just freaking me out! Not much I can do about it, but figured if I put it here, maybe someday, someone will give me insight into the sudden onset of stalker tendencies in this goofy cat. If nothing else, hopefully you got a good laugh!

Scenes from the Passion of Christ

This was a new piece of art to me and I'm just enchanted with it right now. All the various scenes from the Passion of Christ in one panel - it's amazing. Check out the site this came from to see a larger version, descriptions of various scenes and details of the piece's commission.

Introduction to My Children

Since this blog was created for my kids, I guess I should at some point actually talk about THEM!

I have three of kids, but I only had two of them. My beautiful daughter is actually my step-daughter, but we've been family for over eleven years of her twelve-year life.

Emily is blonde, blue-eyed and, well, twelve. A "tween" as they say know I guess. A pain-in-the-rear know-it-all sometimes, other times the best "mother's helper" ever, a shopping maven, goofy silly and just down right wonderful. She worries me with her computer usage sometimes, but hopefully I can get her trained up right and working more on something like this for herself. She's pretty smart ("for a blonde" as we tease her since the rest of us are brunettes) and she plays the flute (seriously, if she was my flesh and blood that wouldn't have even been an option!). We sing together for KidStuf at church and we do there manicure-late-at-night thing whenever we can. My husband jokes that he didn't marry me for himself, but so he'd have entertainment and a best-friend/bid-sister for Em. (He's a goof too!)

My boys are "identical twins" but don't let that fool ya. They're only identical in genetics and most of their looks (moles on opposite sides of their chins). They're actually what's know as "mirror twins" since one is a lefty and one is a righty (and the mole thing) - which makes them even more unique. But, beyond their twinness, just being themselves makes them special.

Travis is goofy silly, with a passion for sports, music, dancing and tickle fights. He's creative when it comes to building blocks, make-believe games and silly mommy moments. He has yet to meet a stranger - a trait he gets from his great-grandmother. He will talk to anyone, anytime, about darn near anything (which occassionally earns him a chastisement, but usually a grin). He loves his two-wheeler bike and he's looking forward to t-ball and swim lessons this summer.

Thomas on the other hand is pretty introverted in public, waiting to see what Travis does first. But, he's the first to jump in when it comes to drawing, reading, writing or story-telling. He'll do sports because Travis is, but I think his real passion lies in art. He's a pretty good artist for 5-years old and he's really good at copying his Sissy's drawings. Tom is also "in like" with a girl at preschool already. She's blonde and blue-eyed too, and he says she's "his girl". Thankfully, he just likes to draw lots of pictures of her and he hasn't tried to kiss her or anything. Not sure what I'd do with a 5-yr old suspended from pre-school!! The teachers say he actually doesn't spend a lot of time with her at school, but he talks non-stop about her at home. Too funny!

Anyway - that's just an intro to them for now. As they say and do silly, smart, fascinating, wonderful kid things, I'll try to remember to share them here. I'm bad at the whole journal thing, but maybe this will help - since I can do it from anywhere I can reach the 'net!

Baby Olivia

Ok - I talked about Olivia being born earlier and I couldn't pass up a chance to post a few pics of her (as stolen from Heidi's site - thanks or sorry Heidi, whichever way you wanna take it!)

This is little Olivia propped on her mommy's shoulder - she looks alert and ready to go already. We've told the boss that we'll have a desk all setup for her when he comes back to the office - we're just sure she's gonna be one of us!

This one is of course the lovely mom and beautiful baby. After all she went through, Ang just looks a little exhausted - and still beautiful and put-together. It's just not fair!

And, this is "boss-man" Neal (occassionally also referred to as "short-man" - something I picked up from a client; he is technically 1" shorter than me). I just love the look he has on his face while looking at the new girl in his life. The awe and love and admiration are just there for you to reach out and touch.

Congratulations one more time Neal & Angela! And welcome to the world little Olivia. The wild and wonderful ride has just begun for you all!

Microsoft Launches i'm Initiative

Microsoft has found a way to make all those IMs we send everyday a little more profitable - at least for non-for-profit groups like the American Red Cross, UNICEFF and the Susan G. Komen Foundation for the Cure.

Through their newest version of Windows Live Messenger 8.1, users can specify a text code in their display name (like Christian Mom *komen) and Microsoft shares a portion of the program's advertising revenue with some of the world's most effective organizations dedicated to social causes. There's no cap to the amount to be donated to each group. And it's all based on something most of us do everyday - IM messages!

Check out an article specifically about the Red Cross initiative or the actual i'm site for more details on what you can do to make a difference - just by doing what you already do everyday!