Conversations with Kids

RETIREMENT PLAN FROM THOMAS
A recent car conversation went like this...

• Travis: Do artists make a lot of money?
• Mom: Sometimes. Depends on what they paint or make.
• Thomas: Really? That could be good. I like art.
• Mom: It's a lot of work. And sometimes you don't become famous and people don't buy the art until after you die.
• (long pause where you could hear the wheels turning in their heads)
• Thomas: ok, I have it. I'll do a regular job and then when I'm 99 I'll become an artist really fast, get famous cuz I'll die soon and then my grandkids will have lots of money! Everyone should do this!

---

ACRONYMS WITH TRAVIS
Travis wanted to figure out the meanings to some acronyms that he's heard recently. Here's some of the best 8-year-old answers he gave before we told him the real meanings:

• SWAT = Sweet Weapons and Tactics (he knows it's Special, but he prefers Sweet)
• CSI = Criminal Science Animals (yeah, he can't spell very well yet...)
• NCIS = National Crime In Science
• CIA = Crimes In America
• NASA = No Air in Space Association
• USPS = Daddy's Work!
• KSU = K-State University (but he couldn't tell us what the K was for...)

Once we explained the K in KSU was for Kansas, we of course asked, "If K is for Kansas, what is KU for?" And this garnered our absolute favorite answer...

KU is for Suckers!

I kid you not, no prep or coercion. He just KNOWS! :)

Skipping Starbucks Challenge 2010

I hereby offer up the Skipping Starbucks challenge again (read this: 2008 Skipping Starbucks post). I think Skipping Starbucks and donating the cash will do more good than drinking there this month.

You say, "I don't drink Starbucks or any coffee!"? You can still participate! Pick ANY where you go regularly (at least 1x per week) and skip it this month. Then, select a charity and donate what you would have spent there.

Two years ago, my coffee consumption made for a $50 donation to Operation Breakthrough. That's approximately 10 times I skipped the expensive coffee and gave to someone less fortunate than myself.

Can you do the same this year? Consider the gauntlet thrown at your feet...

My Fascinate Score

I read a coworker's blog post with her Fascinate results and wondered what mine would be - now sharing them for the world. Nothing new here for me or those who really know me, but still interesting to see it in print. Only part that doesn't really ring true to me / about me is highlighted below (under Trust).

MEET YOUR TRIGGERS
Your primary fascination is LUST. (Nicely done, you.) Even without realizing it, you’re already instinctively applying this trigger when trying to persuade others. Your secondary trigger is POWER, and your dormant trigger (the one you’re least likely to apply in your personality and behavior) is TRUST.

PRIMARY TRIGGER: LUST
So lust is your primary trigger. [um, DUH] That means you draw people closer with a warm and open style of interaction. You’re expressive with ideas, communicate well in person, and probably have a strong creative streak. Even when you mask your emotions, you feel passionately about your opinions.

You’re intuitive with information, often making decisions based on gut instinct rather than cold intellect. While other personality types prefer facts, you’re more attuned to the nuances of attitude, design, and a certain indefinable je ne sais quoi.

Lust is a powerful form of influence because it creates irresistible messages that overcome rational resistance. When you dial up your primary trigger, you have the ability to create messages that are extremely difficult to ignore.

You’re remarkably talented in creating messages that lead to a powerful intellectual, physical, and emotional response. For instance, you like to share experiences with others, and in conversation, you draw people closer with body language and eye contact.

By applying these natural strengths to your work, you can build warmer relationships and more trusting dialogue. And by applying to your ideas, you can create messages make people say, “I want that now!

SECONDARY TRIGGER: POWER
While you’re not a power-monger, you are power-comfortable: an authority who likes to be in control.

Blindly following someone else’s orders? No, thanks. You prefer to actively lead situations, rather than sitting back and passively watching from the back row. You’ll follow other people’s rules, if needed, but you prefer to define a new set of rules on your own terms. You exude influence, compelling others to pay attention. Your strong opinions and bold action often spark reactions from others.

Your messages command influence, and your opinion carries weight. When you excel in positions of leadership, others look to you for cues of how to behave. At times, perhaps, you might come across as intimidating or even overbearing. When you expect others to obey your message, you define deadlines and demands of the alarm trigger to make them comply. By steering your use of power productively toward your goals, you’ll become more motivating and inspirational.

You’re a natural leader, and probably comfortable with authority. Next step? Hone your power trigger for greater respect, bigger audiences, and more loyal advocates.

DORMANT TRIGGER: TRUST
One thing’s for sure: You’re definitely not boring.

People who score low on trust tend to be thrilling, passionate, and intuitive. They live in the moment, and rarely plan very far in advance. [I really DO plan EVERYTHING as far in advance as humanly possible. Living in the moment doesn't really appeal to me much since my kids were born - it's just too hard with three kids!] As a result, they can be unpredictable, impulsive, and volatile.

Of the 7 triggers, trust is the most difficult to earn, the easiest to lose, and the most valuable to hold.

Perhaps you don’t need to sway opinion through consistency. Many people and brands, especially those unconventional few who delight in immediate gratification and avant-garde style, don’t rely on trust. However, this trigger comes with many rewards, so take a look at ways to increase trust in your message, without losing the excitement and edge of your other triggers.

OTHER TRIGGERS NOT IN MY LIST:

• Prestige
• Mystique
• Alarm
• Vice

TAKE THE TEST TODAY AND SEE WHAT YOUR TRIGGERS ARE. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SCORES!

A Month of Thankfulness

For the month of November I'll be updating this post with a daily update of people, places or items for which I am thankful. I also have calendars printed for the boys to write out their thankful list throughout the month. So - what are you thankful for today? :)

1. My family. Specifically my husband who loves me despite all my faults, my two funny smart and sweet little boys and my beautiful sensitive step-daughter. I love you all!
    
2. Karate classes. It's great workout, good quality time with my boys and I'm actually learning something new, which is pretty rare these days.
    
3. Thanksgiving. Particularly, I am thankful for people, especially radio stations, who remember that Thanksgiving IS a holiday; it's actually my favorite one! No Christmas until AFTER November 25 please! :)
    
4. My Crazy Brain. No really, I'm happy I'm a little off-kilter. Because otherwise, there's no way I could be me or do all that I do if I wasn't just a little nuts.
    
5. Pro-bono Accounts. My job allows me to help such wonderful and worthy causes such as Back in the Swing, Treads & Threads, Jazzoo at the Kansas City Zoo, Red Ball for The American Red Cross in KC, HillOween, and The Ugly Christmas Sweater Party. Being the website project lead for these events is very soul-satisfying!
    
6. Football. I love football! I love how American it is. I love the autumn-ness of it. I love that my whole family plays fantasy football together. I love how my husband coaches - hard but fair. I love how my boys play it - with no butts but lots of heart. Plus, when it's on TV, it's a great time time to take a nap if I don't really care about who's playing.
    
7. Daylight Savings. I know most people dislike this, but I love it. Especially in the fall. I went to bed at 10:45 only to realize with the time change it was really only 9:45. And I slept until 8 am. And when I drive to work or drive home, the sun's not in my eeys as much. Let's just not talk about the spring side of this amazing deal...
    
8. Morning-able Children. My kids get up, get their own breakfast, brush their teeth, get dressed, feed the pets and even make their own lunches - at only 8 yrs old! They do all that with minimal reminders (or yelling) from me, most days. This allows me to get up later and get ready for work a lot easier. Now, on to teaching them how to cook, do laundry and drive the car...

Thank you Disney!

WARNING: Mommy Rant...(and maybe some movie spoilers if you've lived in a cave all your life)

I'm annoyed by an article a friend of mine shared (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1308584/Why-does-Disney-hate-parents-Ever-noticed-favourite-films-kill-Mum-Dad-.html) and I have to write it out.

In this article, the author essentially talks about how Disney hates parents and always kills them off. The author doesn't seem to consider that maybe, just maybe, one of the most traumatic things a child could endure is the loss of a parent and overcoming that loss is an wonderful achievement in a child's life and a testimony to the love of others in the face of grief. In the movies she references, none of the characters succumbs to despair and depression, but rather learns to live a positive life in the face of such tragedy. I think this is a rather good thing to teach children before they might have to experience it themselves.

The movies she mentions may have only one or even no "biological" parents, but does that mean the child was left alone to learn their way in the world with no love and guidance? NO! In every Disney movie, she mentions there is a true caregiver of some sort. For instance:

---------------
Toy Story - Andy definitely has a mom, a sister and of course the wonderful toys. There's an assumption that she's a single parent, but no proof of that (you just might never see dad). And poor Andy is so hurt by having only one parent that instead of simply throwing his very old very childish toys in the trash he lovingly saves them over the years and eventually makes sure they find a home where THEY will be loved and cherished. Oh...wait...
---------------
Bambi - yes he tragically lost his mommy by the mean old hunter and I don't think we ever know what happened to dad (been awhile since I saw this one). But he had Thumper and Flower to befriend and show him the world.
---------------
The Lion King - yes, we all know that dad dies tragically but he is still THERE for the little cub up in the stars. And of course mom is there; it's the kid that runs away. But honestly, who wouldn't want to be raised by Timon & Pumba? Hakuna Matata might not the best way to deal with all things in life, but we could all use a little more of that. Eventually Simba learns to be a man, face his mistakes (which weren't even his!) and returns to lead his pride with...pride.
---------------
Peter Pan - Peter RAN AWAY as a baby because he didn't want to grow up. Wendy's parents were both there technically. But, through each other they learned that growing up may not be a horrible thing and that grown ups could be trusted.
---------------
Finding Nemo - Marlin might have been a little neurotic, but whose parents aren't some times? Plus, when placed in the tank, the other fish looked out for him (mostly). And of course Marlin never gives up looking for little Nemo, he just keeps swimming, just keeps swimming, swimming swimming swimming....
---------------
Dumbo - this poor elephant probably had it the worst of any Disney character. He definitely had the most confusing life but he never gives up, has a great mouse friend (talk about learning acceptance!) and eventually reuintes with his wonderful mommy. Oh, and he gets to see pink elephants on parade(this part might not be the most kid friendly but it does open the doors for conversations on drinking...)
---------------
Tarzan - orphaned when his parents are killed by a wild animal, he's raised by a shrewdness of apes. Animals that should have killed him choose to raise him and raise him right - into a strong caring leader. Then of course he also has Jane, who teaches him to read and write and even walk upright. She helps him become a man.
---------------

The author takes an extremely cynical view on why Disney creates so many movies without parents:

"Might the company - and its output - be a true reflection of our disparate society and the obvious disintegration of the traditional nuclear family? Or might it be the other way around? Might Disney have played its own part in the demise of family values given that we - and our children - have fallen for this wholesome entertainment for decades? If nothing else, Disney stands accused of failing to honour that most sacred of bonds - that of the mother and the father to their children."

Personally, I don't think family always means two biological parents and 2.5 kids. Lives can end tragically, without or without choices. "Family" can be grandparents, aunts and  uncles, friends and neighbors, church members and sometimes even church mice, sweet dogs and fluffy kitties. Values don't come from having two parents in the house - they could just as easily be alcoholic druggie sadists! Family values come from love and wanting to do the right thing and from people teaching respect, sense of self, honor, trust, and other positive character traits to the next generation.

This isn't something we've been taught to do by movies or have adopted as "ok" by being brain-washed by movies. Personally, my grandparents were huge in my upbringing and are two of the most loving and wonderful people I've ever known. Specifcally, I lived with them for two years as my mom thought it was safer to be with them than to go to a high school where my step-dad was stationed. She was probably right and I'm glad she made that choice for me.

I was also influenced by individuals in my churches and the parents of my friends as well as my teachers and coaches. I know people who were raised by single parents, siblings, grandparents, and even adoptive and foster parents and they have all turned out to be wonderful, bright, healthy individuals.

While I wouldn't mind seeing a few more movies where it's a little more like Pleasantville, I think we can learn a lot from Disney movies - how to respect our selves, our elders, the planet and its animals; love is loyalty, caring, respect and trust; tragedy happens and we can overcome with love and strong sense of self; and cynicism gets you nothing but sadness and loneliness. The "most sacred of bonds" doesn't come from blood, it comes from love.

To that end, I suggest that author review her own cynical view before she gives that "value" to her own children. Then, maybe she can enjoy Disney movies for what they should be - family entertainment with many good values.