Conversations with Kids

RETIREMENT PLAN FROM THOMAS
A recent car conversation went like this...

• Travis: Do artists make a lot of money?
• Mom: Sometimes. Depends on what they paint or make.
• Thomas: Really? That could be good. I like art.
• Mom: It's a lot of work. And sometimes you don't become famous and people don't buy the art until after you die.
• (long pause where you could hear the wheels turning in their heads)
• Thomas: ok, I have it. I'll do a regular job and then when I'm 99 I'll become an artist really fast, get famous cuz I'll die soon and then my grandkids will have lots of money! Everyone should do this!

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ACRONYMS WITH TRAVIS
Travis wanted to figure out the meanings to some acronyms that he's heard recently. Here's some of the best 8-year-old answers he gave before we told him the real meanings:

• SWAT = Sweet Weapons and Tactics (he knows it's Special, but he prefers Sweet)
• CSI = Criminal Science Animals (yeah, he can't spell very well yet...)
• NCIS = National Crime In Science
• CIA = Crimes In America
• NASA = No Air in Space Association
• USPS = Daddy's Work!
• KSU = K-State University (but he couldn't tell us what the K was for...)

Once we explained the K in KSU was for Kansas, we of course asked, "If K is for Kansas, what is KU for?" And this garnered our absolute favorite answer...

KU is for Suckers!

I kid you not, no prep or coercion. He just KNOWS! :)

Man Day

Sunday morning, we had a really great family discussion around 8am (which was really 9am - forgot to reset the clocks and I was late for KidStuf rehearsal - oops!).

I was doing my hair and makeup and the boys were cuddling with Joe on the big bed. Our talk went something like this:

Tom: "I know...you're going to church. Right mommy?"

Me: "Yep - always!"

Tom: "Does that mean we need to go?"

Me: "Only if Daddy brings you, cuz I have to sing..." (looking askance at Joe hoping he'd take the bait)

Joe: "Fat chance."

Me: "So, no then." and I went into the hall to have a little pout where the boys couldn't see me.

Tom (still in with Joe): "YES!"

Me: silent, pouting at Tom as I come back in.

Tom, exuberantly: "It's MAN DAY"

All 3 boys/men: "YES YES YES. It's MAN day! We are MEN and it's OUR day!"

Me: "But...it's MY birthday..." *pouting again*

-short silence -

Tom: "Oh. Well, maybe we'll do something when you come back. But, today is MAN day first!"

Me: *sigh*

FOOTBALL...in MARCH???

As of this evening, my boys are now enrolled to participate their 5th sport. We've done wrestling (one season and they don't show any interest in returning now), baseball (will reprise this summer we hope), basketball (just finished first season), karate (in second season now) and, for the fall...

FOOTBALL

I'm not sure why, but the Kaw Valley football league out here in KS has sign ups for fall ball in March. Yeah, crazy, but there you go. We had to convince the boys that they weren't PLAYING football yet, just that if they want to in 1st grade they had to sign up now. It took a good 30 minutes of explaining and cajoling to convince them to go sign up. *Sigh*

For those of you who don't know, my husband is a Texan - born and bred. That's football country folks. And he was born in DALLAS - THE Football town. And he of course cheers on God's team - the 'Boys (at least he's religious about SOMETHING!!!) For 14 years he coached these little league football teams and he only gave it up when his job required work on Saturdays. However, he has volunteered to be a coach should they need one. Whoa. I know the boys will be taught right, but not sure how his patience will work with them long-term like that. But, if it works and brings them closer, well...can I get a HALLELUJAH??

Anyway, I'll post more about football in the fall. I'm not ready for that insanity yet!

Time with Travis

Today I had a rare occurrence - time with only ONE twin. since it was such a beautiful day outside, I suggested the boys go out play (I honestly was trying for 15 - 30 minutes of peace for myself). Travis jumped at the idea and was dressed and out the door in a flash. Thomas showed no interest and simply went on playing Hot Wheels.

A few minutes went by and I peeked out the window to check on Travis. I have a compulsive need to check on them every 2 minutes when they're outside, especially when only 1 is out there. We have a HUGE backyard that is completely enclosed, but I fear losing them whenever they're out of my direct contact and it's a fear I deal with as best I can.

I found myself smiling out how he didn't care if he was out there alone - he was running in circles and just generally being a little boy. And I decided I HAD to join him. Forget the laundry, the dirty dishes, the messy house, the sleeping husband and the content boy IN the house. I wanted to play with that happy little boy OUTSIDE. So, I did!

For 30 minutes, he and I danced in the sun, dragged branches to the burn pile, raced through the muddy yard, played in the play house, swung (he tried to push me and THAT was funny), and we even had a snowball fight (60 degrees and just a little snow left, but enough for the two of us!). But best of all we TALKED. About what he did and did NOT like in school. About Thomas. About nothing. About how he WANTS to be a good boy, but it's hard sometimes. It was everything and nothing. I even took him to the side of the house and showed him where I wanted to put in a secret rose garden since we moved in 11 years ago. He asked me why I'd never shown him that before and I told him it was my secret place and I finally wanted to share it with him. That made him smile the biggest smile I've seen on him in such a long time!

Eventually, he got bored with me though and ran back inside. But, the rest of the day he was SO much nicer. And quieter. With less fighting and less back-talk. He was just such as sweetie. For awhile he was just my little boy again - not one of the terrible twins. and every once in awhile, he'd catch my eye, smile and give me a big wink. It was SOOOOO worth it!

So - new resolve - spend at least some time each week with EACH of the twins separately. I can usually do this with Emily no problem - retail therapy works not only for cancer survivorship but also for mother-daughter relationships! And sometimes I can get in a little time with at least one of the boys. But good quality time with both of them individually is something I'm going to have to plan and work on. Because I finally realize how much they need it - and so do I!

Anger Management

Lately, Travis has been on a tear. Nothing seems to make him happy for long. He'll laugh and then turn instantly mad. For no reason. We've been working on trying to get him to curb his anger and think about what upset him and what would be the right response, but it doesn't seem to last long.

We think part of it is Thomas. He knows just how to push Travis' buttons and the second our backs are turned he "attacks". Doesn't really "do" anything like pokle him or really even directly talk to Travis. He just starts saying things under his breath to undermine what Travis was saying, or (and this is bugging EVERYONE) tries to finish EVERYONE'S sentences or say the words with them. Like the "twin-speak" thing, but all.the.time.

I'm of the mind that 1st grade might be the time to separate them, but dad thinks that might still too early. But, if they keep after each other this way, it might be necessary or they won't survive to see 2nd grade! Honestly, I'm just hoping they finish Kindergarten without any major blowups in school.

Where's My Man Card, Mommy?

For those of you of the male gender, you know there's this thing called a "man card". You get it for being manly (like controlling the remote, NOT putting the seat down no matter how many times the wife asks you, etc.) and not doing feminine things (like talking during sports, singing and/or dancing in public or even semi-public or crying for any reason).

My sons have been introduced to this concept already. Travis was dancing around the living room to some silly song he made up and was singing. My husband said "Dude, you're going to lose your man card for that!" [which then of course led to conversation to what a man card is, how you get one and how you lose one]. We are now treated to variations on a theme...

Me: Can you carry this package to the Christmas tree?
Travis: No....
Me: Please?
Travis: No, but I can take TWO.
Me: Great - you're the man!
Travis: [upon his return from a trip to the tree] You're right, I'm a man momma! (strikes a body-builder pose) Where's my man card woman?

Later...

Me: (singing some KidStuf song for church) Wanna dance?
Travis: Nope. I'm a man momma. We don't dance.
Me: Please? I need someone to be silly with.
Travis: OH, Okay. But don't tell Daddy!
Me: Why not?
Travis: He'll take away my man card! Never mind - you just don't get it!
.................
Oh my goodness! What will I do when they actually get to be MEN?? Help!!

Southpaw Research

As the parent of a lefty, I found this article interesting - ""Gene for Left-Handed Trait Discovered" from National Geographic website.

Main points of interest:

• Gene most closely linked to left-handedness has been found, called LRRTM1.
• LRRTM1, is also associated with a slight increase in developing certain mental illnesses such as schizophrenia.
• For right-handed people, he said, the right side of the brain usually controls emotion, while the left side of the brain tends to control speech and language.
• In left-handers—about 10 percent of the world's population—the pattern is usually reversed.
• LRRTM1 is not essential for left-handedness, but it can be a strong contributing factor.
• Left-handers should not be unduly concerned about this link.

So - basically there's this gene that is found in both left-handed people AND in schizophrenics, but as a mom, I shouldn't worry about my left-handed kid BEING a schizophrenic. um - okay....

It is an interesting correlation, however. I wonder if they also find it in people who have ADD and do they see an increased recurrence in lefties with ADD than righties. I ask this because 1) Travis shows signs of ADD, 2) a leftie friend of mine IS ADD, and 3) many actors are lefties and seem to be ADD (and also have a high percentage of dyslexia as well!) I'll need to do more research and see if there's a correlation.

I do have to admit, having mirror twins gives me a change to see how lefties and righties differ on a very basic level - two genetically identical individuals who are developing very differently. Not just in handedness, but in mental acuity, physical ability, and attention span/interests. Maybe this is why I'm considering psychology as a vocation again - I love the research and mentality around twinship!

Completely off original topic now. Read the full article to get back on topic if you desire...

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/08/070801-left-gene.html